Saturday, January 2, 2010

No Progress...

I'm still smoking and eating sugar. I'm unfocused and undetermined. Kinda all over the place. I have hope that things are looking up. I'm researching no-sugar menus and Monday I'm making an appointment to see my doctor about smoking. Bonus round: appointment to set-up with my health and counseling center at school to deal with all this stress around life changes.

I started researching Linguistics a bit tonight. That is my major for my BA. There are so many fields of study available. I'm focusing in on the speech pathology aspect to help autistic children learn how to communicate. I'm thinking about taking some sign language again. We shall see!

Watching 27 Dresses. My son is at a sleepover and I'm bored! Good night!

Today was a bad day...

I woke up at 2pm feeling like shit. Abby, you were so right in taking too much on at once. I'm slowing down and tomorrow will take each step minute by minute making consious, healthy, and sane choices. I'm already feeling overwhelmed and its only January 2nd! I love my friends and family. I need to learn to love myself.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

No Excuses: 2010

I hate New Years Resolutions! I am not committing to any one solid thing but rather a concept I've been longing for forever! Here it is: NO MORE EXCUSES!

I am literally sick of myself. I'm sick of all the reasons I give myself for continuing certain behaviors and habits. Even though my New Years Resolution (NYR) is 'concept' based, I will have specific goals. But, I'm not going to hold myself to the NYR typical standard. Life changes don't happen in one year. It's taken me 32 years to become who I am today.

So for months I've been attempting to stop smoking, exercise, and eat certain foods. Well, it is NOT working! I always loose focus, I don't plan, I make excuses! Now I'm simply going to stop making excuses for my life. I am forgiving myself for the past and in two hours and eleven minutes I'm starting fresh. Because no matter how many excuses I make, how many times I fail myself, things are only getting worse. I want my life to change and get better!

I started this blog and never continued. Today I commit to write here, hopefully everyday. Truth is I'm writing a book about this. My blog is only the beginning.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Hello Again...

8 days and counting until I start my journey. I've got my first doctor appointment this Monday for blood work and smoking cessation. The blood work is for my physical fitness training. Wednesday I have my bio mechanical assessment at "Fitness Together." This is the place where Melissa my personal trainer is working with me one-on-one. They are going to do all sorts of tests and measurements on me. I'll post all the details once it is finished.

On the 27th I must throw away all my junk food and get ready to buy all new stuff. Melissa comes to my house to assist me with this part and then we go shopping! I have to pick a quit date for smoking. I quit cold-turkey on August 11th for three weeks and it did not work. It must work this time. My journaling, blogging, and book writing is key to my success and commitment to my self care. I have a dentist appointment October 2nd to start on my dental hygiene. That is a whole other story!

I have a puppy wait listed for me. I'm about 80% sure I'm purchasing her. Its such a task! But Harlan has wanted a puppy for years. Its time I let him enjoy this pleasure and pain. He's already one month off age 13. I'm not having anymore kids so I might as well have a puppy. She's a pit bull. I'll post a picture on facebook.

I need to find a therapist at my college. We get amazing discounts on therapy! This is part of my self care is essential in improving my overall health and well-being. I've been holding on to certain things in my life that are destroying me. Gotta work on this stuff or the whole makeover will fall apart.

I have a heavy load with Harlan, school, personal training, house work, the dental stuff and mental stuff. But I'm excited to start focusing on myself. That's my ultimate goal. I know I cannot do everything at once or I'll give up. I'm not giving up. I cannot give up. I'm in the 31-40 age bracket and if I do not fix my health I will pay for it. So will Harlan. Not to mention I'm unhappy with who I am right now.

Like I said, things will get more detailed beginning the 28th. I'm going to bring my camera and my notebook everywhere. I'm hoping to start a group for women here locally who want to make health and wellness changes. Support always helps.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. It is cold outside! Talk later.

~ Jennifer

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Part 1

Hello Everyone!

I'm beginning a blog about me. I know it sounds silly but listen. In 12 days I'm saying goodbye to the old me and starting fresh. I'll be blogging about it and writing a book at the same time. In hopes to inspire others (especially women) to refind themselves. I'll be focusing in on self care. Something I have long forgotten. This is so important to me and scary! I've lied to myself for a long time about what I want. Now I'm going after it strong and fierce. Motivation and inspiration is a huge part of who I am so I'm hoping that blogging will drive me to keep going for the long haul.

On September 28Th I start school at Western Oregon University. I also start my personal training with a physical fitness instructor. There's a lot else in the works but I'm tyring not to overwhelm myself. I promise pictures and new juicy details everyday. Join me on my journey and maybe start a blog yourself. They are wonderful.

This was my first step. I needed to write it down. Commit to the process. Now I've got a lot of mapping to do. Good night everyone!